And I raise you one.
When I have trouble sleeping, which these days is like 90% of the time given that I’m in the midst of many things, including but not limited to a down-low war, I tune into C-SPAN. Now I know what you’re thinking, Geez, that’s a brilliant idea, because it will put your right to sleep.
Wrong. You’re wrong, wrong, wrong, oh-so-very-wrong. For my foreign readers, Google C-Span and get the low down on what it is, because I’m about to attempt explaining this television channel, but I’ll undoubtedly fail miserably.
C-SPAN is a tv channel- more like a-sort-of-kind-of-live-news-stream of the United States Government in action, or rather, in-action. (Is that even a word? Probably not, but it’s quite illustrative of our governments lack of action.) It provides a daily reminder of what a smoking hot President us Americans now have, because yeah, man, Barack is smokin’. Screw JFK. And sometimes, it provides the men of America with MILF material to whack off to when they’re too lazy to get out and get laid- most commonly found in the form of Barack’s wife, Michelle Obama, a.k.a. MObama. Just not John Mayer, because apparently his penis is a White Supremacist. I don’t think he watches C-SPAN ever.
But other than that, I really need to stop tuning into what is going on in this country. I need to become the Average Joe ignoramus. Seriously. C-SPAN serves as a reminder of how insipid and ill-prepared many of our (or really, Florida’s) elected officials really are. No, I’m not referencing the 2000 election debacle. I’m referencing the representative from Florida who informed a congressional committee, the rest of the world, and Toyota that he’d only seen some of the documents he was referencing THAT MORNING- while he was shaving. I’d tell you his name, but GEE!, with the way this country is going, you might read this and think it’s funny to go out and re-elect a guy like him out of spite and disillusionment.
Basically, the bumbly mother-f!cker, like many of his colleagues, slurred his words and mumbled his way through berating Toyota’s President and North American Chairman.
That’s just the beginning, really, because all of the representatives looked like fools. They didn’t ask for any questions involving non-vague answers. They all had the appearance of wanting to publicly embarrass Toyota for it’s recall and safety issues, but failed miserably. They were too busy stuttering and mumbling incoherently to get to the point.
No one asked for any direct answers on the steps being taken to ensure that these organizational failures within Toyota’s infrastructure will NEVER happen again. No one left that room with any real answers, and as a viewer, I was left feeling that my government is seriously lacking.
Seriously, don’t even get me started on the health-care panel hosted by that smokin’ prez of ours. Geez, when the President announced a break in between so a bus could take the reps back to a Congress session to vote on a Bill, you had to wonder if all those klassy politicians were hopping on the short bus.
C-SPAN, please, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, break up your broadcasting with some syndicated Family Guy, because I need the brilliance of Stewey to remind me that there is some wit and brilliance left in this world around me. You know the write in section on the ballot, guess what name mine’s going to be filled with. . . “S-T-E-W-E-Y.”
Yeah. And could the district containing South Park, Colorado please elect “E-R-I-C-C-A-R-T-M-A-N.” ????? Oh yeah.
Thanks. Bye now.
