why am i so obsessed with ron artest?

Because I have a majorrrr case of hair envy, RogueRanters.

That’s just for starters.

I love, love, love him as a LAKER.

To all the people who said he wasn’t better than Ariza and counted him out mid-season:

F*CK YO*

WAGs: showing up the world cup

footballers-wives

Watch the world cup, did you? Not me.

Could. Not. Care. (Unless of course, the press/telly coverage involved shirtless photos.)

I was far too busy checking out what their “lady friends” were wearing, duh.

But maybe you were a little more dilligent than I was and actually cheered your team. Or not. Maybe you, too, just like hot, shirtless men. [...]

Fishing For Excuses

Sacramento Queens, and Roseville's Waffle Barn Ode to Mike Bibby (Who No Longer Plays For Them)

Never, not in a million years, did I think Utah Jazz fans would be at the top of my Shitlist for D-baggiest NBA fans ever. I thought for certain that top spot would forever be reserved for the fat, hairy truckers, hookers, and hicks that cheer on the Sacramento Kings- fans whom, thanks to the early-2000′s, I regard with more disgust than Celtics

fans. At least Celtics fans have the championships to back up their trash talk. Sacramento, which I lovingly call the armpit of space and time, has neither a championship nor a front office capable of bringing it’s long-lost championship dreams to fruition.

And let’s be real here, to say that I hate Jazz and Sacramento fans more than Celtics fans is saying a lot, because I am a Lakers-till-I-die kind of girl. I’m a cut-me-and-I-will-bleed-purple-and-gold kind of girl.

But now it’s May 29, 2010, and here I am, in New York City, seething with disgust for a team who’s former owner I generally thought of as truly a one-of-a-kind guy in a sports world ruled by the bottom line mentality, a Mormon so devout he never attended Sunday games for the team he OWNED.  Here I am, hating Jazz fans, the only fans in the history of the NBA that I would have once told you actually had class and truly deserved to win a championship.

Do I think Lakers fans deserve championships? No. Hell no, but we demand them, because we’re a bunch of bitchy Angelenos, most of us who have nothing worse to bitch about than traffic on the 405 or how the lady at the tanning salon gave us an over-priced, streaky spray-on. When we’re winning, we show up to games with celebrities, agents, rockstars, and shell out absurd money for crap tickets, because we can. When we’re losing (2006-2007, anyone?), no one shows up except for the diehards and Jack Nicholson. Hell, when we’re losing like that, we can’t even rely on Mr. Kobe Bryant himself to show up. In a losing season, I’d bet my life on him being the first to board a jet plane and get the Hell out of LA. Make no mistake, when we’re good, we’re goooood, which allows Jerry Buss & Co. make a killing off our backs, because our prime seats are filled with prima-donnas. These ladies and gents who raise ticket prices by using season tickets to be seen, they don’t know shit about basketball though. If you asked one of them how effective the triangle was against any given team on any given night, they’d probably respond with something like, triangle? I don’t know about any love triangles, you’ll have to ask my publicist about that.

live blog: lakers vs. suns

Too bad network television doesn’t broadcast the Lake Show in New York City.

9:20 – Trek to Omonia Cafe in Astoria to catch what’s left of the game with my brother, Keegs.

9:44 – After mass confusion with the service staff, they help me find TNT, and duh, the Lake-uhs.

9:45 – Chucky (Charles Barkley) just popped up on the screen. His mouth is moving, but I can’t hear what he’s saying over the music. No biggy, the dude never says anything intelligent anyways. I’m only obsessed with him, because he is a living, breathing sound bite.

9:50 – After Nascar commercials and shots of Steve Nash getting some practice shots in during the half, I’m seriously wondering if Turner Network Television doesn’t realize who their audience is. Red-blooded Americans don’t watch the Lakers, and while they might watch the Suns (Hello, immigration law?), after the whole “Los Suns” jersey-escapade, it’s not likely.

9:54 – Reggie Miller is hot, and not that anyone is surprised, but with the music playing too loud to hear the Chucky and the gang are saying, I find watching them on television wayyyy more entertaining.

Continue reading live blog: lakers vs. suns game 3 (5/23/2010)